You (Can)'t Be Too Prepared

I kinda start to freak out when we don't have more than a half gallon of (rice) milk in the refrigerator, and at least 20 diapers on hand. Anxiety swells in my chest and rests there, heavily.

I mean, it might be somewhat understandable now that we're at my dad's, where the closest grocery store is at least a 20-minute drive away, and now that it's just me.

But I was this way when we were less than a mile from Publix, too. (Oh, how I miss that.)

I mean, I realize this might make me some kind of freak. I guess it all could be amplified by our sudden loss in income and that would explain a lot. But it's making me crazy.

When I open a new tube of toothpaste or bottle of detangler (which, by the way, we run through around here), I immediately feel the need to replace it -- not next week, but the very next time I am at the store. Of course, this desire is curbed by my completely devoted frugality. (And the fact that we are now dead broke, of course.)

It's just not like me to stockpile things; I'm so not a packrat. I often do such thorough cleaning-outs that I miss something later (or am responsible for throwing out someone else's things). I've purged my belongings numerous times, as I've moved more times than I can count.



I guess it's all just anxiety, but I even see it when I looked back at my last grocery receipt. I funneled our last bit of food assistance* into milk, juice, and frozen foods that I hope will last us a while. If nothing else, it has definitely provided me some peace of mind. At least for now.



*Yeah, umm...we lost those benefits when our household count was recently reduced